it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
