just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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