I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize