But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
