STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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