she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
