FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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