Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
