I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
