I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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