Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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