I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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