I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
