just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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