New low: just hacked my moms facebook
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
