that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
