I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
