ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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