If i come over, it means nothing
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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