Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He better not be in your backpack
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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