Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
