Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
