Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize