i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize