afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
try to milk me bitch
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize