forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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