Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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