end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
