I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
