amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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