I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
