I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
