A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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