All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
