Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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