just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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