Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
