we have pet lesbian snakes
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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