i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
