An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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