so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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