Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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