the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
