Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
