I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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