Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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