I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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