Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
