Have you finally orgasmed yet?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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