I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
