I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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