He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
