what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
