Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
