Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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