I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
