why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize