apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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