What a fucking waste of an outfit
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
