i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize