i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i out mim tonsoeep
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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